I hate to do this to Litlove, especially since she’s been unwell lately. However, it must be said: She is in serious danger of getting completely humiliated in the Race of Rejection™. As Regular Readers® may remember, Litlove and I are in a fierce competition to determine who can first compile twenty rejections from publishers or agents. When last we checked our standings, I had racked up an impressive four rejections. Litlove, sad to say, had none.
Today the humiliation continues. Yes, friends, I have received another rejection, bringing my total up to five. According to my admittedly weak math skills, that means I am twenty-five percent of the way to complete victory. It may not be too soon to raise my arms in a victory salute.
I strongly suspect Litlove will soon have no choice but to concede defeat, as I am sure her first query will result in an acceptance, leaving me the unchallenged King of Rejection©. As King, I promise a benevolent rule and publications for all.
Now, I understand there are a lot of Litlove partisans out there in Blogland who might say, “But Hobgoblin, your article is going to be published in Americana–surely that means you have already lost!” To this I must reply, “Not so fast, oh doubters and naysayers! The competition rules clearly stated that the rejections were for my novel, virtually assuring me a swift and decisive victory!” Allow me an evil and despotic laugh: “Bwahahahaha!”
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, put the hands up in celebration before you cross the finish line. Every bike racer knows this can only lead to bad things. Certainly you have seen the youtube video of the dude crashing as he puts his hands up, gets passed while running to the line and winds up second. Or allan davis in la vuelta stage 7….
the bike racing –> life metaphor strikes again !!
Good point, Josh–that YouTube video is a hilarious lesson in what not to do. I will not celebrate until complete victory is assured!
Sorry to hear that you are winning that particular race, Hobgoblin. However, I am sure you are enjoying the other flush of publication.
Mmmh… it’s a tough world out there. I just read the fine print of your competition (Litlove vs. Hobgobblin) and find myself rejected once again…
I’m currently in the race to gather a lot of rejections by literary reviews for a short story. Just got one already. Who cares to join my race?
Do not forget that you need a grand slam to win: only one acceptance (vanity publishers do not count, but you probably did not write to them) and you are out, disqualified, eliminated. For good.
This will be tough: knowing that you have only one in two chances of being rejected for each manuscript you sent out (either it is rejected, or it’s not), that’s only one chance in 32768 if you are awaiting responses from 15 publishers, and one in a billion if you still have 30 manuscripts out there in the wild.
Don’t get discouraged, Hob. I have a friend who has been trying for two years to get her novel published (and has gone through two agents)…it’s a numbers game. Even though I can’t fathom Mandarine’s math, it’s on the right track!
Dearest Hobgoblin – I have risen from my bed to pain to assure you that I am RIGHT on your heels. Three rejections so far and such deadly silence on a preliminary letter that I feel I have to call it four. So no resting on your laurels, young man! Any second now, I could overtake……
Litlove–Oh no! Well, I just sent out another query, meaning I have five rejections still to come. And no fair calling four when you haven’t received the actual rejection letter.
don’t give up hope hobgoblin…it’ll work out 🙂